Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Similarity Between the Press and Politicians
Over many years of observation, it has come to my attention that whenever a politician or a tabloid "journalist" wants to demonize someone, there will be an inevitable Nazi comparison. If the person to be demonized is a president, prime minister or dictatorial despot they are graduated to a Hitler comparison.
This summer, members of the New York State Senate were accused of Nazi-like tactics by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, a nice Jewish boy from Boston. Since I am a nice Jewish boy from Chicago I can call Mayor Bloomberg a nice Jewish boy both verbally and in print, so stop it with your anti-Semite conclusion-jumping already!
I would like to correct my Ashkenazy cousin. The rank and file of the New York State Senate are not Nazis. They are much closer to being the Somali pirates. Today it was revealed that Bronx State Senator Pedro Espada Jr., leader of this summer's political coup in Albany, was able to secure his son a job, filling a position that did not previously exist, for a salary of $120,000.00 per year. When questioned about this, the senior Espada stated that his son was qualified to get this job that did not exist due to his extensive experience in both the public and private sectors.
This same state senator, frequently accused of being in violation of rules by living outside his district (a very nice home in Westchester county instead of a bungalow in the Bronx, and who can blame him? Well, me for starters). This is the state senator who jumped from the Democrats to the Republicans along with a buddy of his who was accused of spousal abuse, creating a month long impasse in Albany. This impasse was finally broken when senate Democrats accepted this putz as majority leader, prompting him to rejoin the Democratic party (like they really need this schmuck).
I was just trying to remember his state senate henchman, accused of cutting up his girlfriend's face with a broken highball glass (and being a good girlfriend she told police she fell face first on said glass). I asked my wife if she could remember the accused face-slicer's name. The following conversation took place:
Me: Remember the state senator who was accused of slicing up his girlfriend's face?
Her: Sliced up his girlfriend's face?
Me: Yeah, and then he became a Republican and helped Espada become senate majority leader?
Her: Yeah, wasn't he from Staten Island?
Me: I thought he was from Queens.
Her: Are you sure? I thought he was from Staten Island.
Me: No, he's from Queens.
Her: Look him up in Google.
Me: What would I search under?
Her: Just what you said to me- state senator spousal abuse, or maybe New York state senator spousal abuse.
Me: If I type that in, I'll get a thousand hits!
I go to Google search.
Me: You were right! Staten Island. Fossela! Oh, wait a minute- he was the guy who was pulled over for speeding and had the secret other spouse in Virginia- he was a U.S. Congressman, not a state senator. He wasn't a spouse abuser, he was a bigamist!
Her: Wait, was he married to both? No, I think he was just having an affair.
Me: Oh, yeah, you're right.
Her: He was a congressman? Oh, yeah, he was!
Also in the same search I find that 29 Congressmen have been accused of spousal abuse, seven have been arrested for fraud- WAIT A MINUTE! Are they talking about the U.S. Congress or the NFL? No, it must be Congress- the role models in the NFL have a much higher percentage of members with criminal rap sheets than the role models of Congress.
So, getting back to Nazis, I see in today's New York Times that an ex-Nazi officer, Josef Scheungraber (that's pronounced SHOIN-grabber, rhymes with groin grabber, a well known hip-hop dance pose) has been sentenced to life in prison for killing Italian non-combat citizens. The guy is 90. What's a life sentence to a 90 year-old man- two weeks? Thank God he didn't get away with it and justice was served.
Scheungraber is to serve his sentence as a Republican state senator from upstate Renesselaer County...
This summer, members of the New York State Senate were accused of Nazi-like tactics by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, a nice Jewish boy from Boston. Since I am a nice Jewish boy from Chicago I can call Mayor Bloomberg a nice Jewish boy both verbally and in print, so stop it with your anti-Semite conclusion-jumping already!
I would like to correct my Ashkenazy cousin. The rank and file of the New York State Senate are not Nazis. They are much closer to being the Somali pirates. Today it was revealed that Bronx State Senator Pedro Espada Jr., leader of this summer's political coup in Albany, was able to secure his son a job, filling a position that did not previously exist, for a salary of $120,000.00 per year. When questioned about this, the senior Espada stated that his son was qualified to get this job that did not exist due to his extensive experience in both the public and private sectors.
This same state senator, frequently accused of being in violation of rules by living outside his district (a very nice home in Westchester county instead of a bungalow in the Bronx, and who can blame him? Well, me for starters). This is the state senator who jumped from the Democrats to the Republicans along with a buddy of his who was accused of spousal abuse, creating a month long impasse in Albany. This impasse was finally broken when senate Democrats accepted this putz as majority leader, prompting him to rejoin the Democratic party (like they really need this schmuck).
I was just trying to remember his state senate henchman, accused of cutting up his girlfriend's face with a broken highball glass (and being a good girlfriend she told police she fell face first on said glass). I asked my wife if she could remember the accused face-slicer's name. The following conversation took place:
Me: Remember the state senator who was accused of slicing up his girlfriend's face?
Her: Sliced up his girlfriend's face?
Me: Yeah, and then he became a Republican and helped Espada become senate majority leader?
Her: Yeah, wasn't he from Staten Island?
Me: I thought he was from Queens.
Her: Are you sure? I thought he was from Staten Island.
Me: No, he's from Queens.
Her: Look him up in Google.
Me: What would I search under?
Her: Just what you said to me- state senator spousal abuse, or maybe New York state senator spousal abuse.
Me: If I type that in, I'll get a thousand hits!
I go to Google search.
Me: You were right! Staten Island. Fossela! Oh, wait a minute- he was the guy who was pulled over for speeding and had the secret other spouse in Virginia- he was a U.S. Congressman, not a state senator. He wasn't a spouse abuser, he was a bigamist!
Her: Wait, was he married to both? No, I think he was just having an affair.
Me: Oh, yeah, you're right.
Her: He was a congressman? Oh, yeah, he was!
Also in the same search I find that 29 Congressmen have been accused of spousal abuse, seven have been arrested for fraud- WAIT A MINUTE! Are they talking about the U.S. Congress or the NFL? No, it must be Congress- the role models in the NFL have a much higher percentage of members with criminal rap sheets than the role models of Congress.
So, getting back to Nazis, I see in today's New York Times that an ex-Nazi officer, Josef Scheungraber (that's pronounced SHOIN-grabber, rhymes with groin grabber, a well known hip-hop dance pose) has been sentenced to life in prison for killing Italian non-combat citizens. The guy is 90. What's a life sentence to a 90 year-old man- two weeks? Thank God he didn't get away with it and justice was served.
Scheungraber is to serve his sentence as a Republican state senator from upstate Renesselaer County...
